There is an opinion that fornication can destroy even the strongest relationships, this is a quite logical fact. It can be seen not only as a blow to the self-esteem of a loved one, betrayal, but also a grave sin in cheating apps. Faithfulness is the power that keeps a family home and happiness together. In today’s world it is very difficult to perceive the human race, to understand correctly, and even more so to live by the holy laws of the “Bible”. Even close, dear to the heart people lie, and let alone enemies, how is marital infidelity regarded in Orthodoxy?
Description of infidelity from a Christian perspective
Infidelity in Orthodoxy is characterized as a temptation, a trial by the devil, it has nothing to do with the power of love. Faith – first of all, complete obedience to a number of commandments, which have among themselves an equal force. Among them there are no primary and secondary, no primary and no secondary, no primary and no secondary.
A true believer is said to be one who lives “in heart with God,” fully bowing before all the rules, for by breaking one, in time, one may fall under the influence of other vices that ruin one’s life.
The priests insist that marriages in the church be entered into only with the sincere consent and the strongest feelings of both parties. The church is the temple that unites close souls, promotes rapprochement, and prolongs the lineage.
The Bible says about adultery that the role of a mistress for a married man is ugly, inappropriate for a real lady. A lady who has taken her husband away from her own home is a great sinner, a temptress, and the spouse himself has fallen in the eyes, has not passed the test, he is mostly unworthy of his wife.
Orthodoxy adheres to the principle: the merging of the souls with the help of a priest is the main guarantee of the beginning of love, which the Lord himself blesses, the noble place of the ritual allows creating strong family ties on earth, and in Heaven. It is generally believed that one should legitimize the relationship in order to know the happiness of devotion, the most desperate, wonderful feelings and emotions that happen in a woman’s life with a man. One must love, respect and consider not only one’s own interests, but also those of one’s immediate environment.
The sin of adultery is indefensible; surely the perpetrator will be punished.
It is not only a moral issue (conscience, viciousness, fear of exposure, a sense of shame), but perhaps the harsh realities: quarrels, litigation, divorce.
The question of adultery is quite sensitive, no one can ever guarantee that they will not succumb to adultery on the side, there are different situations that can affect, there are people on the path of life who can manipulate, suppress the will, persuade. People sin, some to a lesser degree and some to a greater degree, that’s nature. There are trivial cases of loss of mind – a real commitment, it can occur at any age, but what to do in the case when the vow is already given, not to sacrifice themselves and not live with an unloved chosen one? The answer is not difficult, the main task – to avoid apostasy, for this simply do not need to lie.
The only thing required in a situation like this:
- To find a way out for himself, to gather his thoughts;
- Discuss the matter in a family circle;
- To be as honest as possible, unpretentious, not to perfect the facts;
- Make a joint decision.
Separately, it is worth noting: there are no unsolvable problems, maybe the options seem unideal, unsuitable, but in this way, not only selfishness, but also good character traits – care, respect for neighbors will show up.
The position of the betrayer is not the most advantageous, but the other party is much more hurt: the shock, resentment humiliation, treason certainly does not please anyone. How to forgive the treason of her husband advice will help? It is necessary to listen to your own heart, to draw conclusions from the prevailing realities on the basis of your thoughts and the degree of remorse.
Betrayed man in no case should not fall into despair, lose heart, if a mistake once does not mean that life is over, there is no need to stigmatize yourself, there is only to fight for their happiness, to try to make things better (in the family or outside its borders).
The first steps to forgiveness:
- Confession, repentance;
- Observance of the commandments.
Sooner or later in any relationship the romance ends, a crisis comes, but honor and praise to the one who manages to keep faithfulness in spite of all mishaps. Forgiveness must still be earned, the hard way of repentance and regret.
Why is adultery a terrible sin?
In Christianity adultery is a destructive turning point that makes great adjustments to the path of life. Should adultery be forgiven and what does the Bible say about it? – Even if the couple themselves do not pay much attention to it, do not tend to dramatize and reproach each other, the Lord will judge adulterers anyway, the essence is the following aspects:
Several commandments are violated at once (lying, betrayal, blasphemy), which is considered a valid reason for condemnation;
The person who has been betrayed has every right to dissolve the marriage. To the priest some reasons seem petty, unworthy of separation, for example: not counting the dissimilarity of characters, temperaments;
The union is seen not for the good of sexual relations, but as the continuation of the race, which provides for one partner for life; the rest is perversion, a sinful process. It is not necessary to love each other (after a long period of marriage, given all the shortcomings, subsided passion), if there is respect, it is enough to raise children together;
This is an extremely serious and decisive step, which implies responsibility not only for yourself, it is a sin to treat such things with carelessness or selfish intent;
The injured party has the right to decide to forgive or insist on divorce proceedings;
It is unforgivable for a husband to leave his woman if she has not cheated, because, he pushes her down the path of infidelity, violation of marital obligations.
Adultery is a voluntary betrayal, a sexual relationship that is not always grounded in love, often it is ordinary lust or a desire for new sensations, to make a variety. Historically, this vice has always been considered one of the most shameful, punishable by death.
The feeling of being in love does not give one the right to go for adultery, because it itself is characterized by extreme purity and lucidity, while sex will force one to deceive, to hurt deliberately, to lie. It is accepted to think that men are allowed more, and women are more resistant to temptation, if they take such a step, most likely it is not only carefully considered, but it will soon destroy the family because of her departure.
The right thing to do
In all circumstances, one should try to keep the vow made, to strengthen it, rather than look for reasons to shed this “weight” from one’s shoulders. According to church canons, it is important to be able to forgive and find common ground. Infidelity is not always called a single fact of adultery, most often it is characterized by promiscuity. Sin will only be forgiven if we put an end to it once and for all. Jesus does not condemn those who try to reform, he forgives them.
There is an opinion that you should support your wrongdoer, understand him and give him a chance to redeem himself. Mistakes are inherent to everyone, but not everyone tries to deal with them, to show character and admit their mistakes. You cannot live with hatred and resentment in your heart, showing mercy, letting go of grudges – everyone finds harmony, peace.
There are things that push third-party sexual relations, usually both are to blame for what happened, first of all, it is worth asking yourself questions:
- What sexual advances have been made?
- Have we fully listened and tried to meet our partner’s needs, going along and being supportive when it was necessary for him or her?
- Do we hear each other’s desires?
- Was it my fault for what happened?
- Did I commit properly, did I not offend my roommate?
Sometimes, for a complete idyll, the smallest thing is needed: to remain silent, to leave criticism aside, to stop the endless comparisons and recriminations, to show your feelings, to be supportive and backed up.
Reasons for Forgiveness for Adultery
The main and most banal reason for mercy, as a rule, is total obedience, love and a desire to close your eyes to all actions, only to save the family, this characteristic is more about weak people with a soft character. More often, there is exactly the opposite – a girl who has a temper drives her husband out of the family, she tortures herself with various facts, arguments, does not want to listen to him, can not understand. Of course, it is deserved, but in order to make adequate, balanced decisions, you need peace and clear arguments.
If a person has made a mistake once and bitterly repents of it, is very painful about the problem, it is important for him to get a mercy and he does not find himself, of course, can be understood and in time to accept again. In such a case, it is believed that a bona fide person met on the way, with whom the path of life seems easier, it is a test, in turn, testing the relationship for strength, the desire to be together.
If, however, the cheater absolutely does not want to accept, to see his mistakes, looking for excuses, continues to lie, then unequivocally – there will be no mercy.
The main pledge of happiness – trust, this is a kind of soil, if there is no, there are other problems that push to give in to weakness.
It is always necessary to stipulate the nuances, there is no need to leave anything unsaid. After all, even after the parting (such things are not quickly forgotten), the problem will be a heavy shock to the body and will even lead to serious psychological illnesses.
Learn to hear each other!
God can help everyone to change, if you really want Him to. It is said in the holy book that the sorrow of parting is very close to grief, betrayal is a painful feeling, it is quite natural and necessary to speak out and to cry, this way you unite with God, pouring out your soul, and whether you will make peace with your beloved or not is a temporary matter.
Life changes, not always for the better, but faith and hope for a happy future must not leave you. We are the same and deserve earthly happiness, which will certainly be granted by the Lord, it is he who is able to heal the soul. It is possible to forget absolutely any obligation, but it is not worth it in all situations. Absence can sometimes bring greater pleasure than having a lying traitor around.
According to religion: the spouse who forgives adultery himself becomes a sinner, but if bitter repentance ensues, he is unconditionally obliged to take it back. Orthodoxy teaches forgiveness, if God is loyal and lets us go of our mistakes, do we have the right to refuse?
Advice for the betrayer
The main thing is to take responsibility for your own actions, to have the courage to confess, repent, ask for forgiveness. Not everyone is able to come forward and tell it like it really is. If one acts properly, one clearly has feelings, is anguished, wants to be forgiven, and as a result is absolved of sin.
Disclosure also directly contributes to a clean confession, which will soften the circumstances (sometimes). It is always necessary to know the measure and time to stop, not for nothing they say: “what happened once will not happen a second time, but what happened twice – becomes a pattern.
Keep track of life events, plan so that you don’t have to cry bitterly. It is much more shameful to hide, to look for arguments, ridiculous excuses.
The “position” itself is quite humiliating, is this what a real representative of the fair sex wants and expects? Every girl must have the happiness of motherhood, a husband as an “impenetrable wall”, no need to diminish their importance, running after married halves. It is excessively humiliating to devote the rest of one’s time, carnal pleasures are no guarantee that one’s heart is won.
The greater sinner is the one who speaks with pride of her deeds, hurting and harming the other woman, destroying, damaging the full family that has taken a vow before God and mankind. Those who have stolen from the kinship circle of women are bound to ask themselves the question: What if I stole the wrong man, what drove me to it? Do not assume that this will get away with it and remain unpunished, any of us need to think before we do something stupid, because wasted nerves will not come back.
Life is so beautiful, it should enjoy it to the fullest, and not ruin it for themselves and everyone around them. Girls, don’t rejoice in the fact that “I stole,” but in the fact that you managed to build yourself!